Are you on a spiritual path? Do you sometimes struggle to stay focused and on track? If so you may find some helpful suggestions and guidance within this book such as:
Being on a spiritual path takes dedication and the desire to know the inner depths of who we are. It isn’t easy to stay focused, balanced and on track when life continues to bring challenges that require us to use our higher consciousness if we are to move beyond our conditioned responses.
You are not alone in your struggles there are many of us waking up to the fact that we are more than we ever thought possible. Spirit Matters, Gateways to Healing and Higher Dimensions offers you the opportunity to look deep within and decide how you can connect with the spiritual dimensions and the loving guides and teachers that are there to help.
As a young girl I loved to pull things apart just to see what was inside of them. I guess I have always had a curious nature. Eventually that curiosity led me into the pursuit of spirituality and the opening up to other realities. I wanted to know why God existed and where God came from. This changed as I got older and no longer leaned toward any kind of religious beliefs. Instead I started to wonder about the nature of the universe. How and from what did it manifest and where did the consciousness that created it come from? Everything comes from something, right?
When I was a child my logical mind couldn’t understand the idea of no beginning and no end. Doesn’t everything have a beginning and an end? I completely failed to grasp the concept and though I have come to accept it, I still wish I knew why and how it all began in the first place and I still have difficulty wrapping my mind around it all.
I had no idea back then that my inquisitiveness would lead me into a lifelong quest to know and understand more about all things connected to spiritual awareness and inner development and how I fit into it.
I am still on that journey and as I allow myself to look back to childhood I remember the deep fear I once had of anything supernatural. I had been programmed to believe it was a dangerous and forbidden place that could only bring terrible things to those that dabbled in it. This programming came from other people’s fears and their own ingrained beliefs, formed either through religious dogma or ancestral superstitions. Perhaps if it hadn’t been such a no-go zone I may have entered into the mysteries earlier but, as I believe everything happens for a reason, I accept that everything was exactly as it needed to be.
When I had my first encounter with a spirit guide it was such a calm and benevolent experience that I felt excited, not scared. Even so, the deeply instilled fear stayed with me at the back of my mind.
Fear is an interesting emotion; it is often a learned reaction rather than a true indication of how we actually feel. There are few real natural fear responses and yet we are afraid of so many things having accepted them as threatening to us in some way. I grew up thinking that I was naturally a nervous Nellie with a tendency towards worry. Although it disturbed me to see myself in this light I never questioned whether or not this was a true perspective of who I was. In fact who I was never occurred to me as a question to be asked or explored until much later in life when I began to challenge some of the conditioning that I had previously been subjected to. Unwittingly I had been keeping other people’s ideas of who I was locked securely in place. So much so in fact that it became my story and my reality.
We all have stories about our lives but most of us are unaware that they are not necessarily based on truth. I don’t have any recall of being psychic as a child. In fact I have few memories at all about being very young. One or two things stand out in my mind but other than that there is nothing evident in my conscious memory bank. I came from a troubled family and to survive part of me subconsciously stepped aside, out of mind and out of sight. I can remember having fun filled days and recall fond memories even though there were turbulent times. I laughed and cried at appropriate times and loved to discover the world around me. I believed wholeheartedly in fairies but I was never lucky enough to see any. When on walks with my family out in nature I would look under the leaves of ferns and other big leaved plants because my big brother told me that was where fairies lived.
The trauma that was generated in my family stemmed from a father who regularly arrived home drunk and argumentative which then led to my mother bearing the brunt of domestic violence. This was not an uncommon situation in the times I grew up. Several families in our neighbourhood had similar troubles so in some ways it was an accepted norm. For me the trauma of living in these circumstances became visceral and instilled a deep fear of angry and violent men. I denied any anger in myself because it frightened me to think that I might be capable of inflicting any of the negative ramifications that such a strong emotion could induce. Although neither I nor my siblings were beaten by my father we witnessed and felt the terrible fury that out of control behaviour brings. As I write, I have no recall of the fighting other than one time when I remember crying hysterically, but the fear was stored deep inside me. I was incredibly distressed to see the two people that I loved in such a dire situation. My mother became the victim of alcoholic fury. My father, the perpetrator of such awful violence, was totally incapable of giving adequate care to any of us. Neither of my parents were able to fulfil the role of loving parent properly, yet I loved them dearly. I looked to my eldest sister for comfort. She was the nurturer and carer that I needed.
My mother did the best she could and I understand how difficult it must have been to look after four children while living in such traumatic circumstances. I have deep compassion for her and though she died many years ago the bond of love brings us ever close. Before she died I wrote a poem for her which touched her deeply and it showed her how much I loved her. I have long since forgiven my father who died in December 1973, six months after I arrived in Australia with my three children to start a new life.
I never successfully learned to fend for myself as a child. I shied away from conflict with other children and other people in general. I still have a tendency to do that. I am working at a deep level to let the fear go and I have shifted many layers of stored trauma. It is such a multilayered issue to deal with that I keep chipping away at it when the time feels right to deal with the next level. I am pretty much at the core now and look forward to healing whatever remains so that I can move from ordinary to extraordinary by being the empowered person I was always meant to be. I am quite an introvert in some ways and yet extroverted in others. I have a preference for solitude rather than a lot of social interaction but I do love being with likeminded friends with whom I can get into deep and meaningful conversations and just be myself. Like me, my husband can be a solitary person so we are matched well and we have fun together. He does not actively pursue spiritual things but he is kind, gentle and supportive. He loves me unconditionally and I believe those qualities are deeply spiritual.
There were so many breaches of trust in my early life that I carried a sense of utter powerlessness. This affected me in major ways and I stumbled through my adult relationships in an immature manner, frequently thwarted by feelings of helplessness. These were some of the far reaching consequences of a troubled childhood. My siblings, equally affected, had to deal with their own demons as best they could.
It wasn’t until I started my journey of healing and acknowledging my past that I began to understand the effects of living through those experiences. There was first a desperate need to change my life and how I related to it. I began with an exploration of various alternative modalities, books and courses. I read voraciously anything that was remotely spiritual in nature. This gave me a deeper connection to the world of spirit that I had newly discovered and was becoming increasingly exposed to.
Over time I began to interact more fully with the idea of other realities, spirit teachers, guides and ascended masters and my interest grew with each new discovery. I began to know myself as a spirit having a human experience within a world of duality. The seen and unseen forces of materiality and spirituality, the forces of positivity and negativity, masculine and feminine, are all part of this duality.
My first psychic experiences set me on a course that changed my life completely. It eventually led me into writing books in order to share what I have learnt over the last forty plus years. Knowing myself as something other than a physical being has been the driving force in keeping my focus on moving forward. It allows me to forgive what needs to be forgiven and no longer see life through the eyes of a victim. I know that I am the co-creator of my own destiny. I have learned that I have immense power to change my story at any time and that my thoughts and beliefs when challenged lose their negative impact over me. Instead of being enslaved by them, I am liberated more with each new level of understanding.
I am not the first to have these realisations, many have gone before me and paved the way just as my insights may illuminate the path for those of you who are reading these words. Direct experience with the divine is more accessible now than ever before. Those of us willing to step forward and step up to become cognisant of who we really are can point the way for anyone that chooses to follow. I am grateful to all those spiritual pioneers that have gone before me and shown the way through books, lectures and by being courageous enough to speak their truth and walk the talk, often against fierce opposition.
I am still enormously curious and I hope I never lose the feeling of wanting to know and experience a greater connection to universal truth. As I continue to heal the pain from the wounds of the past I feel excited and invigorated to know that I am becoming more whole and closer to the truth about my place in the universe.
The frightened little child inside me is less fearful and more grown up. There is a newfound awareness and knowledge that she is no longer powerless and helpless. She can still feel wary at times but she also knows that there are people in both the physical and the spiritual dimensions that are supporting her desire for wholeness.
The spiritual dimensions are not visible to the naked eye but everyone can have access through an open heart, an enquiring mind and the willingness to connect. You don’t necessarily have to be clairvoyant or psychic to see or feel the presence of other beings. The more you raise your vibration the closer the invisible worlds become. They are not out there somewhere, they are all around us and it is possible to communicate with them. Intuition is innate in all of us. Simply listening and being willing to suspend critical judgement about the validity of what you think is real, goes a long way towards moving in the right direction. With a little commitment and willingness to trust even when doubt may be present, the gap is shortened between the dimensions, thus enabling us to have direct interaction in whatever way is right for us. Some of you may see clairvoyantly, others will hear, sense or feel. There are many ways of communicating. Find out which is your unique way of doing so and develop it.
You don’t need to have any special qualifications or knowledge. In fact sometimes those things can get in the way. Be sincere and respectful rather than using the supernatural as entertainment and you will be amazed at what can happen. My sense of reality has been tested and shaken many times and my mind has wanted to doubt repeatedly. The fact is if we want to interact with other realities we simply must get to the point of accepting some of the things we cannot explain rationally and be in the wonder of the moment.
I think simplicity is the key to working with spirit and though it may be hard to adjust at first to a different sense of perception I can honestly say it gets more intriguing and more amazing. My daily life is much the same in many ways and yet I try to view it in a more appreciative way. My ideas about what being in touch with my spirituality means have changed over the years. I have had to overcome the disappointment of having certain expectations not come to fruition. On the other hand, there have been times when the universe has brought me unexpected gifts of both the material and spiritual kind without any request from me.
I have had some success with vision boarding and the law of attraction but I have also had failures and again I have learnt to search deeply within myself to find exactly what it is that I want and what might be hindering me from attaining it. Sometimes I realise it is because it just isn’t right for me and that what works for others is not necessarily the way to go for me.
I believe we all have specific lessons that we are here to work through and I have come to know that one of my biggest lessons is learning to be in the flow rather than trying to consciously create or control what happens. I am reminded about letting go all the time and when I do I am not usually disappointed. Holding on to anything can cause a contraction and a damming up in our energy field, while letting go creates expansion.
The letting go process can be pretty tedious at times but each time it is done it becomes easier to recognise where you are holding onto an idea or way of life that is not serving your highest good. We all go through challenges just by being alive and those challenges do not dissipate with the growing awareness of the spiritual side of our nature. I see and hear my friends struggling with walking their path all the time. Unrealistic assumptions about what it means to be spiritual have to be faced and released.
Many people dedicated to being of service to others feel that they shouldn’t get paid for their work. This is a common belief held by many who believe that they mustn’t accept payment for their gift. I have said many times that my thoughts on that are that rather than our abilities being a gift they are a natural part of who we intrinsically are. It is a wonderful idea to give service for free but we all have to eat and pay bills and money is not a dirty commodity. It is a form of energy and giving a service in return for payment is simply an exchange of energies.
There is nothing to feel guilty about. If our own basic needs of food, shelter and safety are not adequately met then how can we be of any real help to other people? The days of piety and vows of poverty are a thing of the past and we must learn to move with the times. The universe will not judge us for choosing to evolve past outdated ideals, it wants us to be all that we can be. It is up to us to be authentic and self-caring and show that we value ourselves and believe that we are equally as important as those that we seek to help.
We all see things differently and have varying values. The thing is not to condemn other ways of looking at the world for we each have to follow our own path in life. Let’s not make other people wrong in order for us to be right. The fact is we are never all going to agree on everything all of the time and in fact we may not even agree some of the time. We are unique individuals with our own way of interpreting and perceiving life. We can get so caught up in our own opinions that we close the door to new ideas. I think if we keep an air of curiosity we remain open to the possibility of learning new ways of thinking and being.
My mother shares my comfort,
my sorrow and my joy.
Her heart goes out when I’m in need
as she wipes her worried brow.
I can only see myself,
my troubles and my joys,
but sometimes I just wonder
on the nature of her love.
It’s full to overflowing
with pride and endless joy,
even when I wrong her heart.
For in my ignorant stumbling
I’m blinded to her wounds,
and yet, I love her deeply
with a love that’s unsurpassed.
But can I ever tell her
so that she understands
just how deep and true my love is,
how she’s always in my heart?